As you may have noticed I haven’t updated in awhile. Why? You guessed it! I have not been able to go the gym hardly at all in the past month. It’s been frustrating, and I have not liked the fact that I have not reached my personal “after” goal yet. For several weeks my daughter was going through the whole attachment phase, wanting only mommy and daddy and crying when someone would even glance her way. Crazy! So, that was the primary reason I had to stop using my sitter at the gym. For awhile I was able to go at nights when her dad came home from work but he has been traveling a lot lately which eliminated that option for the most part. I do admit I could have been a bit more diligent about working out at home during this time but it, too has been challenging.
Although I am not at my personal best as far as how my body looks, I am perhaps for the first time in my life truly learning to be appreciative of my situation for what it is and all that I learned because of it. Now don’t get me wrong, of course I would love to have my usual defined abs and tight buns right now! I know, however, had I not experienced this entire past year and a half of pregnancy difficulties, post partum depression, weight issues, health issues and difficulties balancing motherhood and career, I would not have the insight that I do today. Previously I could never relate to those who had weight issues. I realize weight issues are relative, and although it may seem like my weight issues were insignificant compared to what some women experience, to me they were very real. For me, having spent my entire life being in shape, this was an extremely difficult period for me. The same is true of the post partum depression. Truly, unless I had experienced it to the depths in which I had, I could never fully understand or relate to other mothers that had been in the same situation.
I am now thankful for these experiences, and grateful for the strength and wisdom I have gained. I know I am a better person because of it. As for the motherhood/career balance… Right now being a mother is the most important thing in the world to me. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my job, career-wise and am thankful to be in a position where I inspire and motivate others. I wouldn’t change that for anything! I know in my heart, however, that at this point in time my real job is spending this precious time with my children. My son is now 11 years old and of course still needs me but is becoming more independent by the day, spending more time with friends, etc. My daughter on the other hand is still very young and completely dependent on me for everything. I realize it is such a blessing that I am able to stay home and raise her during her early years. So, even though I am not as lean as I would like to be, I am ok with the way I look right now. My stomach is flat, my arms are toned and for the time being, I absolutely accept where I am at this point. I think I look pretty darned good for a mother whose baby is not yet even crawling or even has her first tooth.
I will continue to take my supplements, the Accelerate(CST boost) and the Coco trim because not only do they help me maintain my weight, they really help with my energy and my moods. I will be able to go to the gym this week, so I am happy about that. I know I will have my six pack abs again soon and until I do, it’s ok. I now believe I can be a mother and have a career and I don’t have to choose one over the other or make sacrifices that I am not ready to make. Finally after 37 years, I am learning to live my life one day at a time. It feels amazing!
It’s been a few weeks since my last entry, and I’m happy to report that I am doing great!! I have been exercising in some way shape or form almost every day. At the minimum, 5 days a week the last couple weeks. I went to the gym, rode the stationary bike and did band/ab workouts at home, walked outside quite a lot, did yoga, and danced. My new favorite cardio activity, I must admit, is the dancing. I hold my baby, who is nearly 21 pounds now, and dance like a maniac all around my living room. I get a great cardio workout, while she giggles the whole time and looks up at me with that sweet face. It is the best!!! I have also really enjoyed getting outside. I have walked a lot this past week, and its felt great to be in the fresh air. My arms are now showing some definition, as well as my abs. I’d like to get my legs a bit more firm and shapely, as well as my butt, but so far I am very happy with my results. It seemed like the longest time I was out of shape, and for me it really was. My daughter turns 8 months this week, however, so I guess I should cut myself some slack considering all the obstacles I have overcome these past months. The only fairly unpleasant thing left for me to confront, is my upcoming breast revision surgery. I have nothing scheduled yet; as I need to make sure I have ample help with my daughter. I will need help pretty much around the clock for the first 3-4 weeks, since I will be unable to lift her, or anything for that matter. At this point I’m looking forward to just getting it over with. Until then, I will continue to take my Coco trim, CST boost, and keep working out!